i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
they're like a gay fantastic four
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
