Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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