guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
