I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
