giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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