I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize