Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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