We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
