we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I could fuck to npr.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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