Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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