No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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