i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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