we have officially lost it.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
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