He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
