I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
