If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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