i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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