I wannas sexs uuuuu
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
