3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
