Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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