living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
God, I missed his penis.
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