Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You left your phone here
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