i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
