hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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