Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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