He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
