tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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