so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We have so much sex to catch up on
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
