I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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