he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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