eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
