i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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