Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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