so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
