I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
