Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize