check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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