Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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