drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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