theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
