Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Is it because I queefed?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
