My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My breasts were aching with rage.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Randomize
