True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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