I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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