we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
