We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
