Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
