The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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