I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
