You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
