I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
