whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
