just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
