I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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