one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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