No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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