carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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