Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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