obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
