we have officially lost it.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Randomize
