i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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