we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
