Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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