Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
