get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
