I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
