i was born a porn star she said
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
